Slimes Can Dream Too!

Translated by iseuli

Edited by Meira

Kalgilm didn’t own a single pan, mold, or knife. However, this didn’t stop him from trying to cook. He hoped to feed his pet its favorite food. Any pet owner would probably understand this feeling.

He was putting in lots of effort because he cared for his adorable slime. Though, admittedly, he hoped to properly educate Bouncy who its true master was at the same time.

Kalgilm used some ornamental swords on the floor to make a mold for his triangle rice ball. He gathered five swords to bend into a triangular shape. He scooped out a bit of whipped cream and plopped it down and then placed a single strawberry in the center.

He stared at the strawberry and realized an important problem.

‘Do I need to take off the stem or not?’

The green leaves that stuck out of the whipped cream looked out of place.

‘Bouncy is a slime, so it will enjoy eating the stem as well.’

Kalgilm was about to ignore this problem when he recalled the strawberry that NeAffronti had given Bouncy didn’t have the stem attached to it.

‘Since I’m going out of my way to make it, I should make the best triangle rice ball for it.’

Kalgilm carefully picked out the strawberry buried in whipped cream. He cut off the stem and plopped the strawberry back into the whipped cream and topped it off to cover it completely.

‘This should do it for the filling.’

Kalgilm took a stump of chocolate.

‘Should I shave it or melt it?’ he contemplated.

Kalgilm decided to try and cut off a thin piece with one of his swords here, but he suddenly realized there was a huge problem.

Kalgilm was a dragon so he rarely ever used a sword. He could count the number of times he’d ever used human tools on the fingers of his hands. The chocolate wasn’t sliced, but completely smooshed into a pancake. If he were to put this on top of the whipped cream, the whole structure of the rice ball would be ruined.

‘I should melt it.’

Kalgilm used his firebreath to slightly melt the chocolate. He was in human form, but he could still use fire breath so he stuck a piece of chocolate onto a sword and breathed fire onto it. When he melted the chocolate nicely, he realized another grave problem.

‘My fire breath is poisonous.’

That’s right.

A single spark from a black dragon contained a heavy amount of miasma and poison.

The fire breath melted the chocolate and it began to drip downwards. Unpleasant black fumes which would instantly kill any human wafted from the chocolate. This much poison was enough to kill an average troll in a second.

A slime’s body was naturally acidic and could neutralize all poisons, so it wouldn’t die.

However.

‘If Bouncy eats this, it would turn into a poison slime.’

How could his flower scented slime turn into a poison slime? Kalgilm’s mood turned for the worst at just the thought.

‘Bouncy must remain a flower slime.’

Kalgilm threw out the failure he just made into the sky.

‘It’s normal to fail the first time. I won’t fail a second time.’

Kalgilm took up the challenge to make the triangle rice ball a second time.

When NeAffronti left Kalgilm’s lair he found Bouncy, Elkiesel, and Falcon playing outside. They were all excited to walk around outside since they were always stuck inside the cave thanks to their homebody dragon master.

“Bouncy, come here.” Elkiesel bent down and called Bouncy as if he were calling his puppy.

“El. El.”

Bouncy bounced over to Elkiesel. Before Bouncy could reach Elkiesel, NeAffronti snatched Bouncy.

“Bouncy!”

“NeA! NeA!” Bouncy called NeAffronti’s name while in his hold.

“You look healthy. Have you been well?”

“Good. Yes. Good. NeA. Good.”

“I brought you a present, Bouncy.”

NeAffronti brought an alesha from his slime habitat. Normal flowers were soft and leathery, but alesha’s flower petals were crunchy and slimes enjoyed eating them very much.

Bouncy enjoyed the alesha’s scent for awhile and then began to nibble on it. A slime’s body was transparent so one could see the flower petals getting crushed and melting into its body. The blue alesha dye dispersed in Bouncy’s body.

“NeA. What? What?” Bouncy sat on NeA’s lap and adorably asked.

“Alesha.”

“Ale?”

“Don’t you remember? Many of these flowers bloomed around the place you lived.”

“Pu-ring. Pu-ring?”

Bouncy made a typical slime monster sound. It seemed it didn’t remember.

“It’s okay that you don’t remember. I’ll bring you there someday. Is the alesha delicious?”

“Pu-ring. Like.”

Bouncy smooshed her body into an oval. This was her unique way to express extreme joy and affection.

On a rate of zero to one hundred, a slime monsters intelligence was ranked as zero. As shown from Kalgilm, it took repeating the same command for ten years for it to understand a single command.

NeAffronti spent fifty years repeating the same command to a slime until it became an effective scrubber slime. He spent twenty-four hours a day repeating the same command like a parrot for fifty years. Afterwards, NeAffronti decided never to train another slime again in his life.

Actually, NeAffronti suggested a scrubber slime because it was a very stupid organism. Kalgilm would need to spend an extended amount of time training the slime, and would end up delaying his hibernation.

He was attempting to fix Kalgilm’s laziness. However, Bouncy learned faster than the average slime and NeAffronti failed once again.

When Kalgilm entered his second hibernation, NeAffronti worried whether Elkiesel would be alright in the lair alone, and visited from time to time. One time, when he dropped by, he was shocked to see a talking slime.

‘It’s my first time seeing a slime talk.’

It was probably thanks to Elkiesel’s tireless effort that Bouncy could talk. Elkiesel almost went crazy when Kalgilm entered his first hibernation.

Elkiesel, who was the protector of the lair, could not leave this place. He could walk around just outside the entrance of the lair, but he was forced to endure for a very long time. Around the vicinity of the lair, there were no living organisms that were capable of talking.

Kalgilm’s first hibernation period lasted five hundred years. Elkiesel hasn’t had a healthy conversation partner in all those five hundred years.

Elkiesel had attempted to talk with the orcs around the lair, but they were under mind control by his own magic, so there was no real difference between that and talking to himself. He would talk to walls or make up imaginary people to converse with.

By the time Kalgilm woke up from hibernation, Elkiesel’s mental health had deteriorated so much that he was hearing and seeing hallucinations. Worst of all, Elkiesel’s vocabulary had drastically reduced to that of a three year old.

NeAffronti dropped by to visit Kalgilm upon hearing the news of his awakening, and happened to find Elkiesel in a state of confusion. Afterwards, NeAffronti frequently dropped by Kalgilm’s lair to check on Elkiesel.

Kalgilm’s first hibernation had been a period of severe loneliness. During Kalgilm’s second hibernation, Elkiesel constantly talked to Bouncy. The slime couldn’t understand what he was saying, but it was better than talking to an Orc who was under mind control.

When Bouncy learned how to talk, Elkiesel was so happy, he eagerly taught her how to speak properly.

Elkiesel wasn’t aware, but that was the time Bouncy remembered her past life. Bouncy focused on Elkiesel’s words, and although it took a long time, she mastered the language. Thanks to him, Bouncy became the first slime ever in this world who could speak.

“El. Bouncy. Grrrowl ¹⁾”

Bouncy could only convey a limited set of words. Thus, Bouncy kept her words as short and concise as possible.

“Grrrowl? Are you hungry? Do you want some apples?”

“Apples, hungry. Like.”

NeAffronti was affected by Elkiesel and enjoyed teaching Bouncy how to speak. It was useless no matter how much he tried to teach other slimes how to talk, all it would do is make Pu-Ring Pu-Ring noises. However, when Bouncy heard a word once, though not perfect, she would imitate it to the best of her ability.

“Bouncy, you’re so smart.”

While Kalgilm was asleep, NeAffronti became quite attached to Bouncy. If one of his familiars didn’t suddenly get tangled into trouble, NeAffronti would probably have remained with them for fifty years. NeAffronti always thought of Bouncy while out adventuring in the world.

‘Bouncy is different from other slimes. Our Bouncy is a genius slime. Even if you searched all of heaven and earth, there will not be a smarter slime than my Bouncy.’

Like most pet owners, NeAffronti thought his own pets were the best.

Bouncy belonged to Kalgilm, the black dragon, but who cared?

Kalgilm only spent ten years together with Bouncy to train it. NeAffronti had known Bouncy for more than a hundred years. NeAffronti considered himself Bouncy’s temporary guardian.

NeAffronti knew all of Bouncy’s smallest characteristics, all the things Kalgilm was oblivious of. Bouncy loved fragrant herbs, and enjoyed crunchy and crispy textures. NeAffronti had a whole stock of Bouncy’s favorites saved in his subspace.

NeAffronti took out a one hundred and twenty layered apple jam pie for Bouncy. Bouncy took in the smooth, mouthwatering fragrance of the apple pie and consumed it in one bite.

“This is a pie that humans enjoy. Isn’t it yummy?”

The country NeAffronti visited had a long history with desserts. NeAffronti brought cookies, pies, and cakes. He let her eat them one by one and took note that she loved pies the best. NeAffronti looked forward to this moment the most and prepared more than three thousand different types of pies in his subspace.

Bouncy extended a portion of her body and massaged his wrist. It felt like a cat’s lick and made NeAffronti happy.

“Are you saying thank you?”

“Thank. Thank.”

“I’ll give you more again next time.”

“NeA, like.”

Bouncy lightly bounced on NeAffronti’s lap. Bouncy hopped off his lap and bounced around NeA in a circle.

“Like. NeA. Best. Like.”

‘Kuu. Cute brat.’

NeAffronti hugged Bouncy and pinched her cheeks.

‘How nice would it be if other slimes were cute like her?’

NeAffronti wanted a familiar like Bouncy. So, NeAffronti observed all the slimes in his territory, but he couldn’t find a smart slime like Bouncy.

As a test, he caught thirty slimes and attempted to teach them words for 30 years, but the only noises they made were pu-ring pu-ring.

‘Should I just take her to my lair? With just a little bit of training, she’ll talk very well.’

NeAffronti lifted Bouncy up to his eye level.

“Bouncy, do you want to come with me?”